Eli No, a children's book about a puppy who's told
no all the time.
by Katie Kirk & Nathan Strandberg of
Eighthourday. 
This is very much like the relationship between me and my own voice.
During the field research when I talked to strangers about happiness, responses have been positive. The smiles I got from people when I mentioned the word
happiness was what got me to stick to this impossible subject. Having said that, out of the 80 pre-stamped postcards I've sent out, I got less than 20 mailed back to me. Maybe I'm too naive to think that people actually care. It's hard not to feel discouraged. But this is not a perfect world, so I'm just going to look at surveys I got back and promise myself to stay optimistic.
I just want to do something for the people because it makes me happy when I'm able to help. I simply want to bring a smile to more people's faces.
...
After stewing in a
pool of happiness for the past few weeks. I started to feel very tired of the word
happiness. Something seemingly simple is becoming overly analyzed and loosing its spontaneity I first wanted to achieve.
What happened to child play? What happened to my gut feelings? What happened to my imaginations? There hasn't been one second I haven't thought about the topic. And it's getting really stale and old. I tend to step on the break when I get this idea in the head. I hear voices of suggestions and critiques. I worry about the outcome of the project being superficial or clichés. I need that balance. I need to switch from shutting off of my own judgement voices to grilling and testing my ideas. (yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know that... I just need to write it down to remind myself)
Since there hasn't been a minute that I haven't drenched myself in others' ideas of happiness, even the thought of that
h word starts to irritate me. I feel like I'm a dog chasing its own tail. I've sketched out idea but feel like I'm going nowhere.
Like what's been discussed today in class, I need to pull myself out of it and think within. What's really important to
me? What do
I want to do for this project? It's been a habit of mine to please others, so it's hard to all of a sudden weigh my own voice heavier than others.
Also, like what Sharon said. I need to do some
metathinking and image that I'm floating above all of these ideas and chaos. Looking at the process and evaluate with a clear mind.
Ommm.... is what I need to do tonight.
