Eli No, a children's book about a puppy who's told no all the time.
by Katie Kirk & Nathan Strandberg of Eighthourday.
by Katie Kirk & Nathan Strandberg of Eighthourday.
This is very much like the relationship between me and my own voice.
During the field research when I talked to strangers about happiness, responses have been positive. The smiles I got from people when I mentioned the word happiness was what got me to stick to this impossible subject. Having said that, out of the 80 pre-stamped postcards I've sent out, I got less than 20 mailed back to me. Maybe I'm too naive to think that people actually care. It's hard not to feel discouraged. But this is not a perfect world, so I'm just going to look at surveys I got back and promise myself to stay optimistic.
I just want to do something for the people because it makes me happy when I'm able to help. I simply want to bring a smile to more people's faces.
...
After stewing in a pool of happiness for the past few weeks. I started to feel very tired of the word happiness. Something seemingly simple is becoming overly analyzed and loosing its spontaneity I first wanted to achieve.What happened to child play? What happened to my gut feelings? What happened to my imaginations? There hasn't been one second I haven't thought about the topic. And it's getting really stale and old. I tend to step on the break when I get this idea in the head. I hear voices of suggestions and critiques. I worry about the outcome of the project being superficial or clichés. I need that balance. I need to switch from shutting off of my own judgement voices to grilling and testing my ideas. (yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know that... I just need to write it down to remind myself)
Since there hasn't been a minute that I haven't drenched myself in others' ideas of happiness, even the thought of that h word starts to irritate me. I feel like I'm a dog chasing its own tail. I've sketched out idea but feel like I'm going nowhere.
Like what's been discussed today in class, I need to pull myself out of it and think within. What's really important to me? What do I want to do for this project? It's been a habit of mine to please others, so it's hard to all of a sudden weigh my own voice heavier than others.
Also, like what Sharon said. I need to do some metathinking and image that I'm floating above all of these ideas and chaos. Looking at the process and evaluate with a clear mind.
Ommm.... is what I need to do tonight.
Hey Chloe,
ReplyDeleteI think we suffer from the same student illness of listening to too many people. I learned that last year, too, in that I get swayed too easily by others' input. In the end, I get confused and do get the dog-chasing-tail feeling and then I overwork myself and think too much and I start getting ill. (OMG like you are now! BFFFF!)
I'm still trying to get to the point of doing something that makes ME happy, without being discouraged by others. It's always illuminating when your own instructor tells you that you need to start slacking off more. Clément called up TRUNG to tell him to tell me to stop working so much. Jesus Christ.
Take it easy, lady. If you need any help, email me. Perhaps we can work together to find that ridiculous balance.